Important News Flash: Chris won several of his own contests.

I am in Phoenix, right now, this moment. I am here to prove his pansy little ass wrong on a couple of the entries.

Before I do that however, I would like to say that I agree with many of the results. For example “Most likely not to date Hooley” Jill beat Greg, barely. Funny. Gregs wife is Barbara, who should have won stuff too. It is very difficult to believe any contest where Barbara doesn’t win something.

Best SEO blogger:

Lisa Barone

That is correct, but there were errors as well. The errors are most simply defined as “things I was in and didn’t win”.

SEO’s biggest flirt.

If I am not SEO’s biggest flirt, then the world is stupider than than a dead lizard who is, in addition to being dead, also hugely stupid. I am romance personified, and I am a delicious flirt.

I do flirting like vomit does projectile. This should be mine dammit.

In fact the winner, Kimber, was actually the subject of a flirt that was one of the very first articles on SEOish. I said she looked like FreeFall . How dare I not win this. The world is pooey or this contest is wrong. One of the two. I think the world isn’t pooey, so the contest must be the wrong thing.

By the way, Kimber, how YOU doin?

Most Likely to Close a Bar:

Chris (little girl) Hooley won this. Utter Bullshit. I have never met a bar in the last two decades that I didn’t close.  I am in Phoenix now to prove this dire injustice as what it is. Poop. It is poop, and I will prove it to be poop.

Best SEO handle/Nickname:

I will admit, grudgingly, that “Captain Thundercock” is a better name than feedthebot. But Feedthebot is cool too.

I have had enough of this. Let me explain to you how things work.

I am God and everyone else are baboons throwing shit at eachother.

Visually it looks like this…

Okay, it is good to clear that up.

Chris Hooley, time for drinking contest. I am in Phoenix, bring it on, punk.

By the way, if you don’t know already, I heart Hooley, but this is a great excuse for a drunken night (nonetheless I think I might get some shit over this)

Update: Chris has responded . Hee hee

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